Friday, January 23, 2009

The Late Mr. Common Sense

An Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies ( don't spend more than you can earn ) and reliable strategies ( adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Please note: The London Times does not exist. The author of this piece is not certain but it is generally attributed to Lori Borgman


Rachael said...

Isn't it a shame that the world doesn't use Mr. Common Senses's method any more? It was seriously the best one to go for.
BTW, where do you get all these amazing stories and quotes from? I would put that one on my blog but I have little girls read it so I don't think I should.
Anyway, great post! Keep it up...

madalien said...

Hey, I didn't mean the London Times doesn't exist - that's what people call The Times in US cos they have NY Times - just that I doubt article ever appeared there

Suzanne said...

You're totally right Rachael. And, as somebody said, it's not 'common' sense anymore - it's good sense. I get sent info of latest design trends because of the design course I'm doing :) And people send me cool stuff sometimes!

I knew what you meant, madalien. But that's the info I read about the article when I googled it so I inserted it at the end.

~Tori~ said...

This was really good...and sooo true!

Rebekah said...

This is really so's sad isn't it?

Thank you so much for visiting me. I'm so glad to "meet" you! I look forward to coming back.
Have a blessed day! :)

simpleman said...

Thats an awesome post! :) Thanks for sharing.

Olivia Coy said...

This was read at my cousins high school graduation. I thought it was very clever.

Brenda Leyland said...

My first time visit to your site. Found you over at Melanie's. I've enjoyed my browse, as well as your post on common sense.

I'll come again. Stop my my place.

Anonymous said...

Boy, how true is this!! Thanks for sharing it with us!

Chris (Tori's mom) : )