Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Made me smile (:

With the EU elections coming up on Thursday this week, I've spent some time looking up various political parties and reading their policies. If you live in the UK, you've probably heard of the Monster Raving Loony Party. It's a kind of tongue-in-cheek party which suggests ridiculous/funny policies the government should take up. Worryingly, it seems to be gaining popularity!

Here's the first part of their manifesto...soo funny!

1. Cool on the outside
To combat global warming and climate change all buildings should be fitted with air conditioning units on the outside.

2. Wheelie Bins
The idea of weight monitoring chips in wheelie bins should be scrapped, instead the wheels should be removed, this would mean that if people generated too much waist they could not put their non-wheelie bin out for collection. It would also help prevent them being chucked into canals.

3. Needles
Due to the increasing number of children afraid of needles, I propose the destruction of the tedious, scary and often painful process of school vaccinations.
Instead, I propose that highly trained nurses should be given free reign on the playground with specially modified tranquillizer rifles which apply vaccinations as well as a tranquillizer. This would have two main benefits: It would be less scary for the children as they will not know what hit them, also it will be more fun for the nurses

4. Hypocrites
It is proposed that all politicians be made to swear a "hippocratic oath", preventing them by law from being Hypocrites. All politicians should be made to stand by their policies, or or at least admit that they were wrong.

5. GCSE Lottery
It is proposed that, before the beginning of exams, the exam board will select a certain obscure phrase which will be kept secret. If any pupil inadvertently writes this phrase in any exam,he/she will automaticaly receive straight A* grades, and a free teddy.

6. One Sided Policy
It is proposed that The European Union end its discrimination by creating a "Court of Human Lefts" because their present policy is one-sided.

7. Prison Food
The problems of prison overcrowding and increased crime will be solved easily by issuing a compulsory contract on McDonalds to do all prison catering. Convervative estimates suggest a 50% reduction in crime rates within 2 years with 0% re-offender figures.

8. Political Colours
All politicians should paint them self's permantly head to toe in the colour of the party they represent - e.g. all Labour candidates in Red , all Conservatives in Blue ,etc,etc

9. One hours silence.
At 12 0' clock pm every day we will have a one hour silence dedicated to our time that has been lost due to work, home and labour

10. Good Heroes
Make it illegal for super heroes to use their powers for evil.

11. Safe Tractors
Ban tractors from driving on roads, they can drive across their fields.

12. Scary Terrorists
Ban all terrorists from having beards as they look scary.

1 comment:

Antonia said...

*lol* We don't have such a party. Our political parties are boring... ;)